Ivan D.E. Beaumont.
Free advice
In these days of inflation let's be happy and live within our means . . . even if we have to borrow money to do it.
Hello from Sev
We've attended a number of "slide" shows and admittedly dozed during most of the programs. There is one that will keep you alert and that is Sev Sorensen's slides and talks on his work in Korea.
We're not suggesting you keep Sev up every night by asking him to tell the Korean Story, but what the beck, since he "retired" he does need another job.
All of us who have known Sev as the FFA adviser at Senior High and now the Voc Ag teacher at Lourdes can appreciate his observations.
He has returned with very fine pictures and a most interesting tale about living and working on a little Korean island. For example, family bathrooms, food preparation, the kitchen floor; sanitation, education and childhood death rate.
As Sev says, it makes him appreciate good ole' home all the more.
Congratulations
to Leona Schmitz, Nebraska City, winner of the microwave oven given by Bill Berger of Nebraska City Furniture at the annual Homemaker's School.
And congratulations to the many other prize winners. The businesses in town joined the News-Press in trying to put over a bigger and better show yet.
We apologize for those turned away at the door. Sid Metcalf, owner of Pioneer Theater, must follow state fire rules. Mr. Metcalf said there were 850 people inside the theater.
We've had the school every year for several consecutive years and don't want to "wear it out." However, your attendance this year indicates that we had better make some changes to allow for larger crowds.
Thanks for your confidence. We'll try to do a better job next time.
From the Dunbar Review
Mrs. Draeger asked her Sunday school class what song the youngsters would like to sing.
"Teacher, can we sing the laundry song?" little Lanny Niday asked.
That one stopped Mrs. Draeger. She asked Bro. Howell and he suggested "Tell us how it goes, Lanny."
The little fellow puffed up and let loose with.
"Bringing in the sheets, we shall come rejoicing bringing in the sheets."
Woe is me
Our neighbors, Fred and Erma Baker, extended an invitation we couldn't resist — spare ribs.
Fred and I decided that we wouldn't eat all day so we could consume more than our share. The Bakers suggested a new place — The Shed at Murray.
John Collins, owner of Collins Grocery and The Shed, visited with us briefly. The Shed developed into more than he had planned, but he likes it and the customers have shown satisfaction by returning regularly since the opening in January.
"Want some more ribs?" Fred asked.
"Nope," I mumbled.
"Take mine, Ivan. I can't eat all this," saith the Queen Bee.
"I don't believe I can do anymore good either," Mrs. Baker said.
I kept munching away. Trouble was, the table was too close . . . Millie gave me that !'&! tight belt . . . I don't know why they keep filling the water glasses and coffee cups.
About this time, Mr. Collins stopped at our table.
"How are we doing here?" he asked with a pleasant greeting.
"Just fine," we chimed.
"How's the food?" he asked.
"Just fine. Delicious. Too much."
And then he got nasty.
"There's more. You're welcome to seconds."
"Hold it! Hold it! That's enough!" I said. "That is an outright plain, down to earth INSULT."
"Ivan, hush!" Queenie cautioned.
The Great Spokesman continued:
"It truly is an insult. I've done everything I can except some push-ups and the only thing I didn't clear from the table was one lousy hot bun soaked with butter . . . I'm so stuffed and so full of barbecued ribs I feel like the puppy with the pot belly full of warm milk . . . and then HE says . . . 'you-re welcome to seconds'."
Fortunately, Mr. Collins was in a good mood and laughed it off, suggested doggie bags (even for those who don't have dogs) and invited us to return.
On the way home, I spoke to my neighbor:
"Fred . . . mebbe the next time you better scoop your own snow."
"Huh?" he questined.
"Well," I explained. "I think I feel better after scooping snow than your 'payment' of a monstrous plate of barbecued ribs."
The rest of the folks in the car thought that was funny.
I didn't. I was in misery.